The right to remain silent
 
 
I can still see the anguish in my mother’s face whenever she handed me her car keys. I stood in my parents’ reflection, swirling with teenage angst and agitation, sensing their struggle to let me go. I waved off their speeches on safety until my mother grabbed my shoulders and made one last appeal: “Please, come back in one piece.”
 
Fast-forward to the present, and not much has changed. My teenage son’s excitement was palpable when he grasped my keys tightly. He’s a good kid: kind, soft-spoken, smart, and dependable. We often quip that he wouldn’t burst a grape in Welch’s backyard. He also happens to be a young Black man who is largely ignorant of the fact that the world sees the color of his skin as a threat. For this reason, we make sure to check his clothes and hair every time he leaves our home. We drill him on possible scenarios, behaviors, and correct responses. He stands, like I did years ago, in a well of aggravation, readying to fly the nest. We stand, like my parents, taking in his presence, begging him to “please come back in one piece.” When the door shuts, our prayers start.
 
As parents, we would do anything to protect our children and keep them safe. As a Black parent, I have had to grapple with and, in some ways, accept the fact that I can’t fully protect my children from the deep cuts of racism, some of which can lead to their demise. When you are not heard, seen, or valued, you tend to become complicit in the way things are. But this time is different—we are in a moment of reckoning. In our forced stillness, America is sharpening its lens toward all of its people, examining its years of systemic racism, and challenging each of us to fight the good fight and be stronger together. My nine-year-old daughter gets that, which is why she has been so adamant in her declaration that all lives matter. She’s not wrong—all lives do matter, which is why now is not the time to remain silent on the fact that Black Lives Matter too.
 
Stay hopeful,
 
Deneen
 
P.S. We hope you enjoy reading Parental Guidance. Feel free to share with your friends.
 
 
  Starting matters  
 
 
  1.  
Dig deeper into the history of protests
Learn more about how the history of protests helped shape our national identity through UChicago’s Black Metropolis Research Consortium (BMRC) archives.
 
 
  2.  
Kids will lead the way
These are tough times for parents, but kids are tougher than we think. In fact, they’re creating solutions. Don’t be afraid to open up a dialogue on racial incidents and help them identify racial stereotypes.
 
 
  3.  
From the mouths of babes
Research shows that babies notice race as early as six months. Learn how to help young children embrace diversity.
 
 
  4.  
Let’s (not) talk politics
UChicago surgeon Brian Williams reflects on the role that race plays in battling coronavirus and gun violence.
 
 
“History has shown us that courage can be contagious, and hope can take on a life of its own.”
 
Michelle Obama
 
“Picket lines and picket signs,
Don’t punish me with brutality,
Talk to me, so you can see,
Oh, what’s going on.”
 
Marvin Gaye
 
 
  For the grown-ups  
 
  Explore a curated list of TED Talks to help you better understand racism.